Prankster
by BlessYourStar21
Summary: "LAXUS!" Mira quickly shut him up by forcing her rag into his mouth. "Wendy doesn't know where babies come from!" … Say what? - In which every guildmember thinks Wendy stopped aging when she was twelve and apparently she needs to know about the birds and the bees. - Natsu/Lucy, Laxus/Mira, Romeo/Wendy
**A/N: This is just something I thought of yesterday. People don't seem to realize Wendy's getting older. This is just for fun and for people who are having a bad day. Cheers!**

.

.

.

A heavy sigh left her mouth as Fairy Tail's youngest dragon slayer looked from one to the other. Wendy had been in this position before, but she never thought this discussion would last infinitely. By the time she hit the age of 18, the sky goddess had hoped they would consider her an adult who you could properly talk to. Apparently not. With a frustrated grumble, Wendy hit her head on the bar.

"Shut it, Laxus! You can't use words like that when Wendy is around," Mira hissed under her breath, smacking his head. The she-devil looked nervously from one to the other as if she was making sure Wendy was not hearing her. Even without Wendy's dragon senses she could have heard what Mira said, because _Laxus was sitting right next to her_.

Laxus growled silently, but complied anyway. "Don't expect me to stop cursing once that baby comes out of your –" "LAXUS!" Mira quickly shut him up by forcing her rag into his mouth. "Wendy doesn't know where babies come from!" … _Say what?_

Wendy blinked a few times as her jaw slowly dropped to the ground. _Wendy doesn't know where babies come from?_ How old do these guys think she is anyway?

" _Shit,_ seriously? You don't know where babies come from?" Natsu suddenly appeared behind her.

"Natsu, _language_!" Mira scolded him.

Natsu shrugged and waved it off. "It's Wendy we're talking about," Natsu said. _Thank god, at least someone who considers me an adult._ "She's gonna pick up the language when she gets older anyway."

Thanks _brother_ Natsu.

"But seriously," Laxus intervened, "you don't know where babies come from?"

Three curious pair of eyes looked in her direction, but before Wendy had the time to response, somebody else already interrupted. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM?!"

Damn you, Cana.

"Mother of God, you have been a member for over six years and you still don't know where they come from?"

An awkward silence filled the guild hall, before the entire crowd erupted in chaos. By this time, the youngest dragon slayer had fully given up on telling them the truth. Wendy loved her family, but sometimes they could be so blunt.

So when they sat her down on a chair in front of a chalkboard and Erza of all people tried to learn her the ropes ("W-when t-t-t-wo peop-p-ple l-…love each o-t-t-her…), Wendy decided to play along. At least she could have a little fun out of this.

How Erza gave birth to her first son, Wendy wondered.

After two hours of endless torture, Erza finally came to her senses and she ended the lesson.

"So, did you get everything I said?"

It was hard to see and one had to look carefully to notice it, but behind Wendy's innocent mask lurked a naughty teenager with pranks she had learned from the cheekiest dragon slayer she knew. The only one who recognized that look, was Lucy. The celestial mage smirked, deciding she would let Wendy have some fun.

"So… if what I'm hearing is correct, then if two people love each other and the man… puts his… _wiener_ inside a girl's… _badly packed kebab_ , then the girl would have a baby?"

Erza sighed in relief as did everyone else. "That's it, yes."

"So, when Romeo and I confessed to each other last week and he put his… _snot rocket_ … in my… _cave of wonders_ , he made me pregnant? Does this mean I'm going to have a baby now?" Wendy clasped her hands together and her eyes sparkled in joy.

…For the minors within this community, I will spare you the details for what happened next.

In the end, a raging Erza took young and confused Romeo by the collar and dragged him towards Wendy (the red color which painted Erza's cheeks didn't leave for _days_ ). Several member subsequently scolded him for … taking a girl's innocence. Wendy felt a little sorry for him…

Gajeel sat in a corner, rocking back and forward while muttering that the innocence has left the world. Of course, Mira had fainted by imagining little dragon babies. Laxus then decided to block his thoughts. Cana was the only one who was cheering. And Natsu…

Let's not go there.

"…You do realize you just confessed your feelings for Romeo, don't you?" Lucy giggled, as she held her sobbing husband in her arms ("Not Wendy… No… Please…").

Realization kicked in. "…OH MY GOD!"

.

.

.

 **A/N: Things you think of while working… They say I'm not the sanest person in the world.**


End file.
